This is real. It is neither planned nor scripted. It is a genuine process in a time of fear and distress where I access my inner world through the wondrous and valiant Truthy & Giraffe. By posting this I risk being shamed, ridiculed or simply misunderstood, and I’m posting it anyway because honesty and openness is high on my list of values, especially sharing the painful, shameful and complicated stuff.
Fight, flight, or freeze? Different people react differently to fear – some move into action, some run away or hide, some get paralysed into inaction. In this video I’ve had a fright, created internally by a fear of loss of connection with both myself and the people around me whom I’m closest to, and I’ve collapsed in bed almost unable to speak, move or think. Luckily I have just enough awareness and ability to ask my partner Arne to get my puppets and to record my process. His presence there is an invaluable part of the process.
Using Truthy & Giraffe to access the almost inaccessible in me, I pull myself out of a shutdown in 20 minutes. Having had many involuntary emotional collapses, which can last for hours, this is a truly astonishing outcome. This video is best watched with subtitles on.
This series of videos follows me from a dark place, where fear and anger prevail and emotional collapse is just around the corner. At times, I’m locked in and ready to self-destruct. I want to face myself, to look deeply at the inner workings of my thinking and feelings.
With the help of the delightful Truthy & Giraffe, who are much better able to express myself than I am, I find ways to handle my inner world and even reach a point of befriending myself. If these videos can support others to grow their personal insight and see the value of inner work then my fear and shame of posting them publicly will be easier to bear.